Are you hungry yet..?

The husband believes 'Cool Mom' is an oxymoron. His take on it - moms simply aren't made to be cool. They can't help but fuss. Over a kid's food largely. Atleast, that's what applies to his (read 'our') family. And once the fussing starts, but of course, the 'Cool' is lost. Literally.



I had maintained my disavowals to his contentions for a while, but of late, as much as I hate to say it, as I see myself and all the desi moms around me, I am forced to agree. (Not that the non-desi moms are any cooler, their kids are mostly not picky eaters, so they don't have to fuss over food, but they do fuss over other things though!)


I open my eyes to the world every morning, and pop, comes the question into my mind - what's the little guy gonna eat this morning? '...ummmm..let me see, he had pancakes yesterday so that's ruled out, I have run out of the french toast sticks, so no..not a possibility, have the idli batter, but he doesn't eat the idlies without the Sambar anyways..shucks, I should've made the Sambar last night! but yes, maybe I can make some grits - will take longer than usual for him to eat, but isn't this the weekend, awesome! let me get started..' and I drag myself out of the bed, give my teeth a quick brush and rush into the kitchen. As the men get going in the bathroom, I get the grits out, dice the butter and fold it in, add in the milk and pop it into the microwave, set the numbers and hit Start. I hear the boys coming down the stairs and the microwave beeps. All set, that was quick! But wait, the battle hasn't even started yet, has it?


'tadaa...' I start the dramatics..'look what Mummy made for you, Mrigank!'

The kid comes running..'What did you make Mummy?'

'I made yummy, yummy grits!'

'But I don't like grits :-(' (wearing a perfect pout on his face)

'don't be silly, Mrigank' (with a sinking feeling in my heart) 'you LOVE grits!'

My emphasis on the word 'LOVE' makes him change his track 'But I don't WANT to eat grits today..'

'Why..?' (I manage to blurt that out while I try to find an alternative route in my mind)

'Because I don't want to eat' (the pout stays intact)

'But Mrigank, if you don't eat breakfast, you won't be strong for the day, and if you are not strong, you cannot play, and if you can't play, your toys will be all so sad. You don't want to make your toys sad, do you?'

'I want my toys to be sad' (and he says that while he continues to 'toy' with his 'toys')

'oh, too bad Mrigank, then they don't want to play with you anymore. Please leave them alone' (what convoluted logic.. my head spins a quick spin as I think about it)

'but I want to play with my toys..'He whines. (he recently picked up the whining from a friend of his who whines his way to success in everything he does!)

'Stop whining Mrigank, you know I don't like it' I am now all blanked out 'Mrigank, what would you like for breakfast?'

'I don't want grits'

'Ok, I won't give you grits, what else would you like instead?'

The kid is silent.


His dad makes the grand entrance now
'Good morning, me lady, what's for breakfast?'

I roll my eyes and ignore his question. He takes one look at the bowl of grits and drops his jaw -
'Have you started already? leave him alone, won't you? He just woke up! Can't be hungry yet'

 'Please Sashi, I know what I am doing, it's 9:30 already, way past his breakfast time at the daycare'

'Maybe he'll just have Brunch'

'No, that's gonna be too late, he will get hungry and cranky before I can make something for brunch'

'do as you please, you won't take my advice anyways. So what are we having for breakfast today?'. Ignore that question if you have to keep your sanity, my mind tells me.


Back to my conversation with my son. The dad exits the scene shaking his head a bit.
'Mrigank, how about some breakfast, baby?'
'I am not a baby!' (more whining)
'ok, big boy, what do you want for breakfast?'
'Nooo, I am not a big boy, I am only a little, big boy. I will become a big boy when I grow really big like Samay and Nikhil anna' he bobs his head up and down as he tries to explain this point of view to his rather silly mother.
'Oh really, Mrigank??!! Wow..!! so do you want to grow really big like Samay and Nikhil anna?'
'Yes' more bobbing..
'Then I think you should eat breakfast'


Sashi, meanwhile, has walked back into the room, and with hardly any idea on the direction our conversation has taken the past few seconds, he says, 'Mrigank, do you want to tell Mummy that you will eat your breakfast after a little while?' in his very matter-of-fact way. I glare at him. He bites his tongue and throws a 'Sorry!' look. Too late.
'Yes. I will eat my breakfast after a little while, Mummy'. How convenient! I let out a big sigh and am thinking just how exhausted I already feel this morning. 'Okay Mrigank'


I go and sit on the couch, wait for a few seconds and then say 'Are you ready yet for your breakfast, Mrigank?'
'Nooo..not yet..' he coos..
'How about you tell me what you want to eat and you can take a little while and get ready to eat while I cook? Is that a good idea?'
'uh-huh'
'okay, what shall I cook for breakfast, Mrigank? Maybe some upma?'
'hmmmmm...' he taps his little fore finger on his chin 'I am thinking, Mummy' he asserts.
'Okay baby..How about upma, or maybe waffles?'
'How about...Dosa?'
'Okay, can I make brown dosa?' (praying that he will say yes, because that is only quick fix dosa I can make right now, the 'white' and 'green' dosa need fermented batter!)
'Yes' he commits absentmindedly...

I rush back to the kitchen, set the tawa to heat and get going on the batter..wheat flour, rice flour, curds, ajwain, a coupla shakes of salt and one of pepper and some red chilli powder..I consider grating in a little carrot and some Cilantro..decide against it..too risky! Mix it all up and spread the batter on the tawa for the dosa..a quick flip and a little more grease (elbow and otherwise) and the Dosa is ready..make one more (I am ambitious, you see!) and I am ready. 'Are you ready yet, Mrigank?' I call out.


'Yes, now I am'


'Do you want to read a book or do a puzzle Mrigank?' 'I want to do the spiderman puzzle today' Life is easy. I fish out the ziploc bag with the Spiderman puzzle, put it on the island, seat my precious 3 yr old on the bar stool and as my dear son begins to set the puzzle on the kitchen island, I begin to feed him the Dosa, a piece a time..just like his puzzle. He eats in peace for as long as the puzzle lasts (conveniently long time, thankfully) and then says, 'I am not hungry, anymore!'. Thank dear lord for that, I think.


I let him go and breathe, finally. I walk over to the couch where the husband is busy biting into his bagel. 'So, I see you seem to be enjoying your breakfast'.
'yup, aren't you glad you don't have to stuff me as well?'
'Stuff? nonsense, I don't stuff him'
'True, you don't'
(He thinks he is an enlightened soul and avoids all arguments, or atleast the ones not too convenient for him ;-) )
'So what do you think we should do for lunch?'
'Please, we are just having breakfast'
'yes, you are(and I am not, I'll probably just eat brunch). But I have to think ahead and start cooking now, if I have to get it ready and in time for mrigank's lunch'
'Harini! haven't you just fed him and to your heart's content too???'
'Yes, but I am not talking about feeding him right away. The kid won't skip lunch just because he had breakfast, will he? Would you do that yourself?'
'I don't have an opinion, please do as you please' (retreating to safer grounds, so to say!)
'That I will, but I want your help in deciding the menu for lunch..'
'Let's think about it a little while later, okay?'

'No, I have to start cooking now, because I dont want to get stressed out later'
'Stressed out about what?'
'About feeding Mrigank'
'You just fed him, right?'
'Yes, but that was breakfast'
'Please..'
'If you are not going to help me decide, you better cook the lunch yourself. Will you do that?'
'Sure, I will'
'Then start now'
'Harini..'


'It will take time Sashi..it is already 10:30 and he will be ready for lunch in about an hour and half..and also, we have to..'

'..and then...'
'.also...'
'..parathas need to be served hot...'
'....need to buy yoghurt too...'
'..Sashi, can you please get my VPN connection going while I finish feeding him..the webex begins in 10 mins..'
'... but he doesn't like it soggy...'
'...yes, I have to go, but I told Sheela I will feed Mrigank and come for the dance practice, it's ok...'
'..it's a dinner party, but we should feed him something before we start because...'
'..he didn't eat the pulav..'
'..I think the dal is too spicy for him..'
'..eat fast mrigank, I have a deployment to take care of in 20 mins...'
'..he would've liked the rasam, but you shud add the tadka...'
'..leave some for Mrigank, sashi, you know he loves bhindi...'
'..Mrigank, baby ..eat now kanna!'
'...no, I won't eat before I feed him..you can eat if you want, you have your priorities all wrong..'
'..yeah, I have my music workshop starting in 10 mins, but how can I go if your son doesn't eat...'
'..he is not eating now all because of you!!'
'..you don't know how to feed him..and you dont want to learn from me!!' (that one usually leaves the husband in splits, and that makes me-really, really mad!:D)


And so goes the day..and Mrigank's fussy mom (and his dad's nagging wife) spends her entire weekend (and week, of course!) planning and replanning the family's many meal agendas..


And every night, when I am in bed and I think of everything I did for the day..it occurs to me just how consumed I am with these episodes.


Yes, Sashi is so right..I am anything but cool when I am thinking about attending to my little 3 yr old's tiny tummy. And I wonder, is it going to change ever? Oh yeah..the 3 yr old won't stay 3 for ever..and his tummy will only grow with time but, will the fussing stop? And will the cool return? Only time will tell :D


Meanwhile, once in a while, Sashi keeps asking 'Where's the cool girl I married?' ;-)

My 'tune'ful driving buddy

I was listening to my morning dose of NPR today and it suddenly struck me how wonderfully mellow every host, every guest and even the guys who do the commercials sound on the channel (not that there are very many guys doing commercials, its only just the ones announcing the sponsors for the broadcasts) . There is a certain crisp, musical element in every sound that comes out from within the confines of their studio(s). The even more amazing thing is the perfect harmony between the multitude of sounds that are generated. Even the refreshingly unique snippets of music that they play between broadcasts blend in perfectly with the rest of the show.


Do they really go hunting for people who sound nice to be aired? Maybe. If the hunt were for the hosts themselves. But for guests too? Can't be! They can't afford to pick their guests on the basis of how musical or symphonic they sound!


So now that makes me think, maybe it is not the people or their voices - perhaps it is the actual content of the show - the subjects they pick, the questions they ask(or not ask!), the coverage provided. But then, isn't all that a part of their website too? Now, while I know I respect the web page per se (or even their facebook community), I am not half as fascinated by it as I am by the radio channel itself. So it can't be just the content.


Is it the fact that it is 'radio'? One interesting thing is when I am just 'listening', I am using just one of my 5 senses - my sense of hearing and I, am using it in full-on mode, with all my attentions being focussed on what my one fully functioning sense is receiving, and processing just that and nothing else (other than the data from the road signs and the cars on the road, of course! I don't want to get into trouble with CMPD now!). Hence my ability to dissect what I receive is enhanced many-fold. And considering that NPR already presents some great stuff, the total effect on my mind and body is extremely pleasing to the mind and the body. Kind of like reading.
So it is a combination of these two things that makes my morning rides with NPR extra special - the content of the programming and the fact that it is radio. And now that I have understood this little secret, I think I will appreciate my dates with the channel much, much more :)
Happy tuning in, to NPR!